Pitchwars Wishlist [class of 2020]

Sep 4, 2020

Emily and I are super excited to be mentoring YA for PitchWars Class of 2020!


WHAT IS PITCHWARS? | Pitch Wars is a mentoring program where published/agented authors, editors, or industry interns choose one writer each to spend three months revising their manuscript. It ends in February with an Agent Showcase, where agents can read a pitch/first page and can request to read more. You can find more about Pitch Wars here! As an applicant, you’ll get to pick four mentors to send your application to. And if you’re writing Fantasy or select Contemporary… we’d love you to SUB US!!!!!

P.S.: This is long, but hopefully entertaining. ENJOY! Okay, okay! Onward to our wishlist!

Emily and I have been CP’s since before I even had an agent. We work well together and our areas of strength are a good compliment to one another. Here’s a closer look at both of us. Find links to our full bios at the bottom of this post.

I’ve also mentored a few times before and well… it’s gone quite well:

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The must, must haves! Insider tidbit on what we LOVE:

  • Character, character, character. No matter the genre, we LIVE to read characters we would DIE for. We love voices that draw us in hook, line, and sinker. We want to taste, smell, and see the story’s world and plot through the main character’s perspective. We want to be pulled outside ourselves and into someone else’s reality. We want to become them so we can change alongside them throughout the story. 
  • Rep! Rep! Rep! We want stories with diverse casts. Give us the stories we don’t see nearly often enough. If you don’t have a single POC in your story, it’s probably not for us.

We love both high and low fantasy, but we want to see unique twists on common tropes and designs. Give us worlds we can disappear into and never want to leave. In the real world, inner-city, or somewhere new entirely. We want to sink into world-building that’s tied to character arcs, like in the brilliant A SONG BELOW WATER, TRAIL OF LIGHTNING, and FIFTH SEASON. We love being swept away by settings that are revealed piece by piece in lush, atmospheric writing, as in A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC. We loved the swoon-worthy romance and mythology in EMPIRE OF SAND. We want magic systems that are imaginative, but simple to understand, as in A SORCERY OF THORNS. Give us happy girls, morally gray girls, and angry girls. Our tastes here are wide. We *loved* the EMBER IN THE ASHES quartet and SHADOW SHAPER, as an example. Above all, give us your unique twists on common tropes, structure, and design. We want it fresh

We never tire of YA contemporary stories with a voice that pulls you in, and either makes us literally LOL, or walk away having learned something about the world. We’re really in the mood for playful, fun, full of joy contemps! But we can take a look at some light issue-driven narratives, too. Give us fun stakes as in YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN, page-turning thrill like THIS IS MY AMERICA, critical life lessons woven with a friend crush like in JACKPOT, make us want to wear yellow the way DON’T DATE ROSA SANTOS did. Take us on a trip of self-discovery of heritage and roots the way DEAR HAITI LOVE ALAINE did. And if you have a literary finesse to your writing like the great Jaqueline Woodson and Jason Reynolds GIVE IT TO US.

[ROMANCE] We’d LOVE to see a strong romantic subplot, but it’s not an absolute must. We also love when said romance subplot doesn’t progress the way it normally does. Flip some tropes. Surprise us! Specifically, we’re looking for a fresh voice with an equally fresh premise. We want the fun stories, the cry stories, the laugh while crying stories. And don’t worry if your story doesn’t have flashy comps! We’d LOVE to see a story that is fresh and damn hard to comp because it’s that cutting edge.

[FRESH SETTINGS] Give us stories with food, dance, gymnastics, horses, dogs, annoying siblings, summer vacations, wise Grandma’s, sassy Aunty’s, something else? Got a story that takes place in a nail shop? Hair salon? Tattoo shop? Take us somewhere we haven’t been on shelves and suck me in. Make us love your character so deeply, we grieve the things they grieve and love the things they love. Rip our hearts out and stitch them back together. Or don’t. we’ll have Kleenex ready!

  • #ownvoices
  • stories about *and* from marginalized perspectives
  • Black girl magic
  • Black male protagonists
  • Black joy
  • Afrofuturism
  • a diverse cast of characters
  • fantasy in a contemporary setting
  • stories with a deeper message about society
  • atmospheric writing with a strong sense of place
  • enemies to lovers trope
  • fake romance to lovers trope
  • found family
  • quiet stories
  • romantic subplots (can be subtle or overt, we’re flexible!)
  • revenge plots, particularly when social justice is involved
  • angry girls
  • inspired by lore/mythology we don’t often see on shelves
  • anything rooted in Louisiana or creole culture
  • anything where food plays a key role
  • main characters with a laugh out loud no-nonsense voice
  • worldbuilding that’s deeply tied to character arc
  • books that play with structure, such as verse
  • 1st person really close POV! (But we’re definitely open to close 3rd). 
  • clever, unique retellings
  • thrilling/suspenseful undertone
  • highly commercial hooks
  • unreliable narrators
  • magic schools
  • anything comped to the Witcher or Knives Out
  • Some fav books:

For this round of PW, these are all a **hard pass** from us:

  • On the page rape
  • On the page violence to a young child
  • On the page suicide
  • Incest
  • Any gratuitous violence that’s especially gore-y
  • Over 2 POVs
  • NO portal fantasies, historical, horror, dark contemporary, straight thrillers—these aren’t what we’re looking for, so please don’t send! There are other mentors out there who are looking for this!
  • CLARIFYING HISTORICAL CONTEMPORARY AND/OR FANTASY: Inspired by history is absolutely fine, send it to us! But if it’s set in a time period before 1990, we’re not the best fit for it.
  • Elves, fairies, orcs, or werewolves—again, not what we’re looking for, so don’t waste a submission on us!
  • Sci-Fi
  • Dystopian (sci-fi. If you have fantasy dystopian, we’d love to see it.)


A NOTE FROM JESS: Okay, listen! I remember obsessing over wish lists two years ago as a Pitchwars hopeful and wondering if my story had any of the “please don’t send me” items for the mentors I wanted to sub. And I think I stared at the list so long my brain went fuzzy and my eyes crossed. LOL. Even still, I wasn’t completely sure if a scene my story hinted at qualified as a NO-NO for a mentor. And the LAST THING I wanted to do was piss a mentor off, lol. It was stressful. I remember that! So first, breathe. LOL. It’s gonna be okay. Mentors are human. (Well, I mean there may be a few werewolves and a couple of witches in the group, maybe even a few dragons… I digress.) We are people! Don’t be nervous to just talk to us. Ask!! Sometimes that’s just easier than stress-guessing.

We’re completely comfortable answering you in blog comment down below or on Twitter. I promise we don’t bite. Wishing you so much luck!

It’s gonna be bananas! Okay no, but really lol understanding how your mentor will work with you is critically important to the success of any mentor/mentee relationship! So here’s what we’re thinking! If you have any questions, feel free to comment below or tag us in a #PitchWars post on Twitter (@emilygoldenedits & @authorj_elle). Seriously, you’re not a bother. We want to hear from you!

Understanding your vision. First and foremost, this is your story. As we work together, we never want to lose sight of that. In our initial conversations (between all three of us) we’ll dig deep into what you envision for your story, so we can understand where you want to take it. We will, however, make suggestions of how to elevate the heart of the story, which may reshape many of its peripheral parts. 

Developmental Edits first! We will dig into a ‘big picture’ developmental edit. Together we’ll look at the story as a whole and breakdown what’s working structurally (from character arcs, to plot threads, to pacing) as well as what we need to level up to achieve your vision for the manuscript. This edit will be the most comprehensive, and can involve a significant amount of writing—but don’t panic! We’re both writing craft wizards and master project managers, and we’ll help keep you on track to fulfill your manuscript’s full potential by the PW showcase. You’ll be in excellent hands.

Line/Copy Edits & Showcase Prep. After the developmental edit is complete, if there’s still time, we will do line and copy edits, likely at the same time. This is when we go through the document and leave comments throughout. You’ll go through each comment and address it. One that’s done, we’ll prep for the Showcase together! (Including prepping a killer pitch for the showcase, query and, synopsis, as well as researching agents). 

Honest, actionable feedback. We will be equally kind and thorough in our feedback. We will be candid about what we think the story needs because we can’t help you improve the story without doing so. BUT you can be sure that for every criticism, we will ensure you understand why we’re giving the feedback we’re giving, and how to act on it.

Communication is key. With three of us working on the manuscript, communication is essential. We’ll use a combination of phone, text, and email for communication. We’ll start with a Get To Know You call and tailor our methods of communication thereafter based on what works better for your working style. If you’re a phone person we can get on the phone. If you’re an emailer, that works too.

“Emily’s in-line feedback was personal, practical, and actionable. I sensed a true joy and passion for her coaching work by the way she engaged with my writing and with me. She made me feel comfortable, heard, and understood, which is crucial when entrusting someone with my creative work.” — Michelle W.

“J.Elle has that great marketing eye to determine when key plot points need to happen and when certain characters need to appear, guiding the rest of the story into place.” -Mahjabeen S., Booklist reviewer & querying writer

“Working with Emily over the past few months has changed the writing process for me completely. She gives me the right number of “glows” and “grows” in terms of feedback that I feel challenged and supported. Emily’s feedback has given me the confidence I need to see this book through to the end.” — Brit Y., coaching client

“J.Elle has such a keen eye–for both large developmental issues as well as sentence-level ones. Her speed is awe-inspiring, her notes are clear, and her suggestions are usually nothing short of brilliant.” -Sarah J., author mentor

“Emily helped me step back and fix the root of my problem. She pushed me to flesh out my main character like I never had before and nail down the problems I was having with her. The end result was going into my next big revision with a clear idea of how to fix it.” — Jess F., querying writer

“J.Elle is straight-up masterful at helping fix a plot. If plot is getting you down, J.Elle is your Wonder Woman.” -Rosie V., querying writer



1. YOU’RE DOING A BRAVE THING | By submitting to PitchWars you’ve already taken a HUGE step in seriously pursuing your writing. Be proud for putting yourself out there. So that’s my first tidbit for you–after you submit, celebrate! You *have* to cling to the small successes in this industry because it’s a long journey wrought with rejection, but each step does count. This is a BIG step. So celebrate! And I wanna hear how you chose to celebrate! Comment down below or share a pic and tag me on Twitter after you submit, so I can celebrate with you. Pat yourself on the back. You did it!

2. CONSIDER WRITING THE WAIT | It’s a long several weeks waiting to hear from PitchWars. If you get requests for a full that only makes the time pass SLOWER. As you probably know, I didn’t get into PitchWars last year, but I did get a few full requests. And MY GOODNESS the time slowed wayyyyy down. I think I refreshed my email inbox literally every hour. Check out the #writethewait hashtag on Twitter and consider working on a different project in the meantime. I did that! And guess what? It turned into my debut, a lead title out with Simon & Schuster in Spring 2021. So, I’d say writing the wait was positive for my mental health AND pretty damn productive! 

And I’d appreciate it if you’d CLICK —->ADD WINGS OF EBONY ON GOODREADS!

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READ: Emily Golden’s PITCHWARS Blogpost


Pitch Wars 2020 Young Adult Mentors’ Wish Lists

  1. Aiden Thomas (Accepts NA)
  2. Sarvenaz Tash (Accepts NA)
  3. Chloe Gong and Tashie Bhuiyan
  4. Abigail Johnson
  5. Kit Frick and Carlyn Greenwald
  6. Sonora Reyes (Accepts NA)
  7. Laurie Dennison
  8. J.Elle and Emily Golden
  9. Andrea Contos (Accepts NA)
  10. Emily Thiede (Accepts NA)
  11. Amanda Panitch
  12. Allison Saft and Ava Reid (Accepts NA)
  13. Emery Lee (Accepts NA)
  14. Carrie S. Allen and Sabrina Lotfi
  15. Shannon A. Thompson and Sandra Proudman (Accepts NA)
  16. Adiba Jaigirdar and Gabriela Martins
  17. Michaela Greer (Accepts NA)
  18. Tash McAdam
  19. ST Sterlings (Accepts NA)
  20. Maiya Ibrahim and Ayana Gray (Accepts NA)
  21. Meg Long and Xiran Jay Zhao (Accepts NA)
  22. Margie Fuston
  23. Jamie Howard
  24. Nova McBee
  25. Amelia Diane Coombs and Sophie Gonzales (Accepts NA)
  26. Rachel Griffin
  27. Susan Lee and Auriane Desombre (Accepts NA)
  28. Ciannon Smart
  29. Sasha Peyton Smith and Kristin Lambert
  30. Lane Clarke (Accepts NA)
  31. Lyndsay Ely (Accepts NA)
  32. Anna Sortino (Accepts NA)
  33. Jennieke Cohen
  34. Bethany Mangle (Accepts NA)
  35. Sunya Mara (Accepts NA)
  36. Kat Dunn and Daphne Lao Tonge
  37. Sheena Boekweg and Alechia Dow (Accepts NA)
  38. Liz Lawson and Dante Medema (Accepts NA)
  39. Sarah Dass (Accepts NA)
  40. Zach Hines (Accepts NA)
  41. Hoda Agharazi (Accepts NA)
  42. Dawn Ius and April Snellings (Accepts NA)
  43. Kara McDowell and Kimberly Gabriel
  44. Kylie Schachte (Accepts NA)
  45. Deborah Falaye
  46. Rona Wang (Accepts NA)
  47. Becca Mix and Grace Li (Accepts NA)
  48. Aty S. Behsam (Accepts NA)

Click here to view all Pitch Wars 2020 Mentors’ Wish Lists



  1. Ipuna Black says:

    Hi J.Elle and Emily,
    I have a question on the “do not” list. I wrote a contemporary fantasy based on Puerto Rican mythology. My comps are Bruja Born x The Lord of the Flies. As part of my character’s quest, she’s asked to find 6 historic Puerto Rican memories. This helps her to gain insight from her ancestors on her personal journey. There’s an element about stories with a deeper message about society related to Puerto Ricans. It’s #ownvoices.
    This team is not taking historical (contemporary or fantasy). I’m not sure if you would not consider my submission because of the historical element. Please, let me know your thoughts. Thank you for being open and letting us ask you! Because uh, yes, my eyes are cross-eyed right now :).

  2. Andrea says:

    Hello J. Elle and Emily,

    Thank you for your time! I have a question about the “not” category regarding Elves/Fairies. My MS is a high fantasy novel set in a land that has been conquered by humans from the Fae. Most of the story is written in a “humans with magic” perspective but there are elements that link the Fae to the main character/supporting characters and become very important at the end. I wonder if this would be considered as a pass.

    I apologize if I’m being vague, I am trying to keep this question as spoiler-free as possible 😅

    Again, thank you so much for your time and encouraging us to ask questions!

  3. Another historical fantasy question here! I have a historical fantasy set mostly in 1928, but it is set in New Orleans, which fits the specific request for Louisiana, and filled with witches, revenge for a curse, female friendship, and slow burn romance. Would that fall into the exception category?

  4. JV Acayan says:

    Hello J.Elle and Emily,
    I also have a question on the “don’t send us” list. My characters are set in pre-colonial times in the Philippines, would that be considered in the historical fantasy category? It includes Philippine mythology, a retelling, romance, and a diverse set of characters. Thank you for your time!

    • j.elle says:

      If it’s influenced by historical pieces, that’s fine. If it’s written within the historical context of a world that may not be the best fit for us. It sounds really intriguing, but if it’s set in history in the way that say, Dread Nation was, we aren’t the best fit for it.

      • JV Acayan says:

        It’s mostly influenced by pre-colonial Philippines’ culture, like what food they ate, what their life was like then, and references on what their political structure was like. And it’s not written within a historical context. Thank you for clarifying! 🙂

  5. Ezra says:

    Hello J. Elle and Emily!
    I have a brief question about the “hard pass” list. My story features a character who escapes an abusive family. Part of that abuse is shown on the page. Would this violate your “on the page violence to a young child” rule?
    No worries if so! I would not want to submit anything you’re not comfortable with.

  6. Catherine says:

    My YA fantasy has an MC who is an 18-yo girl-turned-goddess, and her love interest is an elf, and part of the main conflict revolves around the social injustice the elves experience from the gods/goddesses of the world. Would this still be a hard pass for you?

    • j.elle says:

      This sounds really cool. But I think it’s a pass from us. Unless you’re flexible on reshaping your elf people as some other creature. If you are, we’d love to see it. 🙂

  7. Mariam says:

    Hi J. Elle!

    Noticed that one of the hard-no rules was based on a on-page violence to a young child. What would you consider young? (There is a character in my novel who dies a violent death. While it isn’t gratuitous, it definitely happens on page. and they are young, but not sure how young is young.)

    • j.elle says:

      Someone under the age of 16. We’re thinking like Kill Bill style of gore or A Song of Ice & Fire by GRRM. While we love the book, that isn’t the type of violence we’re looking to work with this go.

  8. Stephanie says:

    Hi J. Elle and Emily!

    I hope you don’t mind another inquiry about your “Don’t List”. My MS takes place in the 90s and the late 2000s. Would that be considered too ‘Historical’ and outside of your ballpark?

  9. Tamara says:

    About the ‘do not submit’ list. Right up until I got to the end of the ‘hard pass’ list, I was thinking ‘OMG they are PERFECT!!!’ But. My science fantasy has elves, fairies, orcs, werewolves, and more, although they’re a bit different from the classic versions. My question is, would you rather I submit to you anyways, just in case you like it, or would you rather not have one more submission to wade through?
    Thank you so much for your time!

  10. Zach says:

    Hello Emily and J. Elle!

    I wanted to reach out to you guys with a question related to your “don’t send” list. You mentioned that you don’t want historical fantasy but are willing to accept high fantasy, especially when it includes a cast of diverse characters and is inspired by lore and mythology that’s seldom seen on shelves. This year I’m pitching a young adult fantasy that is heavily influenced and inspired by the mythologies and ritualistic practices of the ancient civilizations that dominated Mesoamerica. Although I’m not using any of the civilizations core lore, instead was inspired by it, would this fall into the “don’t send” category because it is extremely influenced and inspired by the culture’s histories? Thank you so much for accepting questions and I hope to hear from you soon!

  11. Hermit Thrush says:

    I saw that sci-fi is a hard pass, but what about sci-fi elements? I have a contemporary superhero/capepunk manuscript that incorporates sci-fi elements but leans more toward the mystical/paranormal/fantasy side of things.

  12. Samantha says:

    Hi! You guys sound so fun and great to work with. I have a YA fantasy novel. You mentioned no elves, fairies, orcs, or werewolves but what about vampires? Think, Elena Gilbert meets The Walking Dead only it’s vampires, not zombies.

  13. Megan says:

    Hi Emily and J. Elle,
    You sound awesome to work with, and it’s so generous of you to take the time to answer these questions from hopeful mentees 🙂 Like others, I thought my project sounded like a good fit for your preferences… and then I started over-thinking your ‘not for us’ list. I’m pitching a YA fantasy MS that is probably a blend of genres and definitely invokes, plays with, (and usually tries to subvert) tropes from high fantasy and dystopia. For example, I have a species described as looking somewhat elf-like (but they are not called elves, and they are nothing like the elves in LOTR-type epics), and I have a setting involving linked worlds (but it is not at all what I would describe as a portal fantasy–and stays pretty away from those tropes). Magic plays a role, but there is also contemporary-sounding technology put, in some situations, to dystopian use. I apologize if this is really vague and scattered (yes, my eyes are crossed, too), but I’m wondering if any of those elements strike you as major turn-offs. Thank you for your time and any insight!

  14. Christine says:

    Hi J. Elle and Emily!
    I have a question regarding the do not submit list. The characters of my fictional civilization have wings; however, they are not faerie-like (no werewolves or elves). Would you find this acceptable?

  15. Katie says:

    Hi J. Elle and Emily!

    I have a question about your hard pass list. My book is a contemporary fantasy but has a portal in it that takes my main character to another place on Earth.

    I’m trying to figure out if this means it’s automatically a portal fantasy? My mind says yes, but my heart says I have to ask because I’d love to submit to you two!

    Thank you so much for your time!



  16. Bea Lashea says:

    Hi J. Elle and Emily!

    On your “do not” list, you mention a distaste for dark contemporary/thrillers/horrors, however you mention loving creole culture. Would there be an exception of creole culture involving the dark and light cultural magic practices? This story is #OwnVoices.

  17. Pearly says:

    Thank you J.Elle and Emily Golden for mentoring in PitchWars. It’s much appreciated by us mentees. Just a few questions to clarify before I submit.

    1. “Elves, fairies, orcs, or werewolves—again, not what we’re looking for, so don’t waste a submission on us!” – My book is not about elves and werewolves but has the elves as minor supporting characters (not in the LOTR style of course) and the werewolf from the family of villains (as per the myth from a underrepresented culture). The story centres around demigods (again from diverse and underrepresented cultures- POC). Is that something that will stop you from accepting the MS.

    2. Are you open to MS with only a certain POV

    3. If the dialogue tagging, writing and sentence structure need work but the characters and plot are well developed would you still consider it?

    Thank you for your time

    • j.elle says:

      1. We are open to the elves as minor characters. 2. I’m not quite sure what you mean by certain. But we are looking for up to two point views. Perhaps in a rare case, three. But no more. 3. We are looking for something fairly polished. Since there is such a small window before the showcase, there isn’t a lot of time to do line and copy edits. Sometimes there just isn’t enough time to.

      Hope this helps!!

  18. Amber says:

    Hi! I hope this is okay to ask. I’ve heard this varies from mentor to mentor, so I wanted to ask: how rough is too rough for an MS? I’m being honest and realistic with myself and there is no way I will finish my edits in time. I’m comfortable with the beginning of my book, but the latter half will likely have typos and rushed prose in some spots. Would that ruin my chances?

    • j.elle says:

      We are definitely looking for projects that need work. But there should be a bit of polishing done to it. I recommend running. a spell checker to catch the typos (That shouldn’t take too long) and then focus on finding those areas of prose that you feel are rushed and expanding them. It doesn’t need to be perfect, but it should be evidently a complete cohesive story that we can follow and brainstorm suggestions for.

  19. Yusof Hassan says:

    Hi, sorry but this is another question about your do not submit list. I didn’t realise this when I was writing it but my story *includes* fairies of a sort but they’re not a large part of the plot and they’re not called fairies, they’re called Aziza as they are African inspired. How do you feel about this?

  20. Pearly says:

    Hello J.Elle and Emily Golden
    I guess I should have been clearer and I apologize for that. I am writing in third person omniscient and wondered if that was something you might not consider if submitted.

    I have edited the MS once and am on my second edit presently but I am positive it still would need the golden touch of a mentor

    Thank you so very much for your reply

  21. Kelsey says:

    Hi There,
    I also have a question regarding the faerie element. My story involves a faerie love interest, but this is a dark and little written about type of faerie and for most of the story, the MC is has no idea that faeries even exist.
    Yay or Nay?

    Thanks for your time. 🙂

  22. […] Hey all, Emily here for this one. I am SUPER excited to announce that I’ll be mentoring YA this year in Pitch Wars with the brilliant J.Elle. […]

  23. Tamara says:

    Hi J. Elle and Emily!

    My YA fantasy features a magical competition that I would vaguely describe as a magical Hunger Games—blood is spilt, bones are broken, and people die on the page. Thus, I was wondering if you guys would consider this too violent for what you are looking for. Maybe I’m overthinking this, but I just thought I’d checked!

    Thank you!

  24. Howard Wolke says:

    Hello J. Elle and Emily!

    First of all, thank you for doing this and for opening up to questions! I have a YA Speculative Fiction that has a magical and apocalyptic twist grounded in the real world. A lot of it is inspired/based on some deep cuts from religious lore. The lore inspiration isn’t anything I’ve seen elsewhere, but unless you know the specific details, you wouldn’t necessarily recognize it as “inspired by lore/mythology you normally don’t see on shelves.” Is this still something that you’d be interested in? I just wanted to check before I submitted to the two of you. Thanks!

  25. Barbara Acosta says:

    Hi friends! I have been salivating over your wish list because I feel like I have *all the things* (Louisiana-based story! Playful rom-com! You Should See Me in a Crown comp!) but I saw no more than 2 POV’s on your no list. Mine is 3. Would you say that is just a personal preference or an industry-driven hard sell?

    • j.elle says:

      We have a strong preference for a slimmer number of povs purely because of the window between being accepted into Pitchwars and when the Showcase is. It can take a bit of time to really flesh out one character arcs, let alone 3. And we’d like to be able to make the story as strong as possible. That said 3 povs definitely isn’t an auto turn off in the industry. it’s more about if all 3 povs are needed and if they have their own arcs, help move the story forward, etc. Multi pov books can be done very well! Several of our fav books have multi povs. 🙂 Hope this helps!!

  26. Tolu Adjapon (pen name) says:

    Hello J. Elle and Emily

    I had a question about your “Do not Send List”
    In my story is a fantasy, set in African like setting, where they are battles and duels, which at times can be a bit descriptive, for example: a blow taking of an arm or leg. Would that be too much for you to look at?

you said:

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